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What Coming Out Taught Me About Myself
Josh Friedburg is proud of his coming out, but also realized he needed to make some changes in his own mind. I came out in front of a lot people because I felt I had something to say. I was in a safe...
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6 Moments When Music Made My Life Better
Embed from Getty Images I am a passionate music fan, historian, and sometime radio DJ. But the most meaningful music moments in my life are often ones involving me creating and performing music as a...
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On Dancing While White and Disabled
— I am a white, disabled nerd, and dancing has rarely been my forte. I remember liking to dance a random assortment of frantic foot motions at weddings while I was in middle school—and relishing the...
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On Crying and Music
— I’m not going to lie: I’ve cried a lot in my lifetime. Crying has helped me cope with a lot of pain. But I haven’t cried much in a long time. I get choked up more than a lot of men do, but rarely...
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I Used to Feel Ashamed of My Autism: Here’s What I Feel Now
— When it comes to my life, the part of my identity that I feel the strongest attachment to is my love of music. I couldn’t have learned so much about music history without Autism. I can name a musical...
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My Autistic Memory and Compassion are My Superpowers
Embed from Getty Images — This isn’t the first Good Men Project article where I’ve mentioned my memory, that I can recall a musical event if you name any year from 1909 to today. Really, try me; I...
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30 Ways That I’m Growing as an Autistic Gay Man at age 30
Embed from Getty Images — I was born August 8, 1988 (8-8-88), which, during my childhood, was a source of pride. It was good luck, for sure, but that doesn’t mean my life has always been easy. I did...
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How I Define Success
— “What is success? To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;...
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On Dating Being Gay, Autistic, and Alcohol-Free
I’m gay, I’m Autistic, and I don’t drink or do drugs. Needless to say, dating has never been easy for me. Being super-literal and thus having trouble with sarcasm, among other qualities of my Autism,...
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How a Friend’s Death Changed Everything Between Us
Death shouldn’t be what it takes to reassess a friendship, but sometimes, that’s what it takes. In 2015, I turned 27, the age that a number of famous musicians, including Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, and...
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I Pace Therefore I Am (Anxious)
Anxiety Why do you always get the best of me? I’m out here living in a fantasy I can’t enjoy a goddamn thing —Jason Isbell, “Anxiety” Chronic anxiety is no joke. I sometimes wonder if patriarchal,...
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Three Great Songs About Unusually Great Men
So many songs represent men negatively: as unavailable, distant, absent, cheating, lying, or abusive. And given the history of patriarchy in the U.S. and around the world, such representations of men...
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On Apologies: Accountability vs. Control
I’m a chronic apologizer. I sometimes say, “I’m sorry” as a reflex. It’s a great way to try to control other people’s reactions. That doesn’t mean it actually works, though, or that it’s worth doing in...
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Just a Little Unwell? On the Good and Bad Parts of a Manic Episode
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell I know right now you can’t tell But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see A different side of me –from “Unwell” by Matchbox 20 Matchbox 20’s early 2000s hit...
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What Toni Morrison Made Me See as a White Person
Like many, I have been greatly impacted by the work of Toni Morrison, whose recent death got me thinking about not only her work’s meaning for marginalized groups, including African Americans and/or...
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My Overweight, Disabled Body Image
I’ve been thinking a lot about the beauty standards of the dominant culture since Toni Morrison died. In her first novel, The Bluest Eye, Morrison paints a picture of how such standards affect girls...
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Why I Am a Proud Mama’s Boy
As long as I have been alive, there has always a stigma around being a so-called “mama’s boy.” But anyone who takes issue with someone like that never met me and my mother. I’m Autistic and growing up,...
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On Language That Oppresses—and Language That Doesn’t
There’s a useful distinction that many marginalized people have made for centuries that many privileged people don’t understand: the difference between simple prejudice and institutionalized hate, or...
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The Straight Pride Parade, All Lives Matter, and Men’s Rights Activism: Really?
I’ve had trouble processing the news recently, but a few stories have caught my attention. Seeing posts on Boston’s “straight pride parade” is awfully depressing, yet unsurprising. In the U.S., many...
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Maybe I’ll Never Yell Again?
I’ve always been very sensitive because of my Autism. Over the years, I have grown a thicker skin in relation to others’ hurtful comments, but my hypersensitivity on the inside has never disappeared....
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